Also known as (organized) chaos.
Organized is in parentheses because quite frankly, sometimes it's just chaos.
Motherhood has always been quite easy for me, and that's not bragging, it's just the truth. I found it comes very naturally and I truly enjoy it. When Troy, our oldest was born, there were moments that were really challenging, but we adjusted really quickly to life as parents. I do remember though, around the time Troy was four months old, Chad asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I was like, to go to a hotel room BY MYSELF and SLEEP. (In case you're wondering, that didn't happen.)
During my pregnancy with Archer I had times where I worried how it would be possible to love another child the way that I love Troy, but I found that loving Archer came naturally too. It's amazing to me how motherhood increases your heart's capacity to love. Adjusting to life with two children was honestly easier than going from none to one, so during my pregnancy with Rex I didn't think for a second that things might be different.
Let me tell you this, I was naive. So, so, so naive. I thought I'd spend my maternity leave baking fresh bread, and canning, and doing other little projects. (No, I'm not kidding.) Let's just say this, the only "little projects" I've completed since the birth of my third child have been getting really acquainted with the cast of Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta and watching the entire first season of Hit the Floor, another awesome VH1 creation. And napping. #Duh.
Rex is a dream baby. He sleeps at night, he only fusses when he's hungry or needs to be changed, and he is just precious to boot. Rex is easy. What's been difficult is having an almost two year old who literally gets into everything and never stops moving. I love his wild and free spirit; it's just much more difficult when I have to keep my eyes on an infant. I also have a 4 year old who's going on 20, and even though he is a huge help, he can be an instigator. If I hadn't discovered the wonders of baby wearing, my kids would probably still be eating microwave chicken nuggets for dinner every night.
Add to those things that I had another C-Section, we have next to no family nearby who can help us, and Chad's crazy work schedule over the past few weeks, and you have a recipe for difficulty. I only had a few (2) days after coming home from the hospital before I was home all day by myself with the boys. There was a lot of crying (me). I was totally overwhelmed and surprised.
I reminded myself that I was extremely hormonal, that I had just had major surgery, and that the way I was feeling was normal. I reminded myself of this frequently and slowly I started feeling like things were under control.
Within the last two weeks, I've started to feel like myself again, and less like a deer in headlights when Chad leaves to go to work. I've taken all three kids out by myself; Target was our first trip, obviously.
We have a new normal. And it's louder and messier than ever, but I love it.
xx,
Amanda
